Another Paradox

He'd pushed her through a darkness that
she'd never known before, and so she sought
to shine, just shine - one tiny flame aglow
within and of a soul that claimed her life to be
its own, even there within the abyss of another
mind's creation. Slowly then, a warmth crept
through the blood within her veins.

And she heard a choir of angels singing,
now for her alone - that bid her to come home
again, into the gossamer of dreams just being
born. The moment was upon her - would
she choose this heaven-sent completion and
decide to leave her life in flesh behind...?
It would be so easy then, to fly away from
all the mortal pain she had obtained through
love of him.

And yet there still remained so many vast
emotions left unspoken. She felt tethered
in between the here and there of every
earthly pleasure she had felt, and this mere
promise of a heaven lying beyond flesh and
form. Yet she had walked the world of dreams
so often now, that she knew the answer, e'en
before the question had been asked.
And she said no, not yet, not just quite yet.

A virulence was heard to shriek within the
sinking deep just then, as she arose into the
world of merely mortal men again. For she
had learned her lessons well, no matter where
they led. And she knew her destiny still lay
within this flesh and feel of form. Countless
words yet lay unborn within each tiny cell of
her composure.

The darkness still remained, yet now a flame
began to burn again, fitfully at first. There was
mind and reasoned intellect, but never had
they seemed so out of reach as in those days
she spent just groping for a feel of innocence
again. One by one, it all began, as she abandoned
every friend that tried to help her through the deep
of those unbound emotive fields. She took to the
air, whenever she could; and flew until her breath
became no more than just a wisp.

She walked through hours of oblivion, perceiving
not another soul within the zone she tread. Anger
rose and fell through her, and rage at times became
a roaring river. Quietly, she screamed in silence
through the realms that others never seem to hear
at all. Something was about to fall again. She knew
not what or when or where - yet an explosion lay
there, waiting in the air. She sought to take those
deeper breaths that always used to bring relief, but
now the atmosphere would tangle into knots that
turned to pain inside of her.

And still, she could not find its source, not anywhere
in her. Life went on around her, yet her world fell
more and more to bits and pieces; for this altering
just wouldn't let her be. Questions rose and fell
without an answer of relief. And more and more,
it seemed her sanity was truly all that was in question.
Now and then, a gust of fresher wind would start
to bring her to her senses; and yet it never lasted
long enough for her to get a grip back on what
others called the whole of their reality. Delusions
came, and stayed for days that turned to weeks
within a blink of eyes that seemed glazed over.

And she began to write of all the strangest things;
red rivers of blood that ran into streams, within the
vastness of a world dreaming its own prophecy
through her. How could she know just what it
meant, or that those dreams might find reality?
Yet she knew she couldn't tell a soul of flights
through heights that sank into the depths of
hell itself. For she knew not what it meant, only
that its meaning kept on drawing closer to reality.

The day that those great towers fell, she wakened
with a start, just after that first plane went into flames.
She sat and stared at her TV, for the numbness of
her disbelief had led her into shock. The war that
she had felt arising, that had seemed to be her own,
had taken form and shape in bold relief of crushed
and crushing concrete, steel, and glass. And only
now would understanding start to take its hold for her.
The personal and universal really are a whole.
The darkness that pursued her, hadn't all come
just from him, for in that touch of universal healing,
came too, the truth of all the love she sought
as real.

Another paradox, so great she nearly
lost herself amid its great extremes.
Inextricably, the web keeps growing on...

? Michaelette ?

10/24/2001
Copyright© 2001 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home...