Diffidence

There was a time when I fell into you,
so completely in love that nothing else
could matter. And yet that time has
passed beyond your reach. You
claimed to love me too, in just that way.
Yet as the days went on, a change -
an altering, occurred within the deep
of all the secrets that you thought
to keep within.

But the falling happened anyway -
such is the way and means of love
that lives in jeopardy within the in between.
Unprepared, I faced them all - the mysteries
that you had never shared with any other.
The rise and then the fall - and I was there
for only you - for the love we shared
had thus become the everything that
love is meant to be.

Yet there, within your sacristy, you mourned
the loss of all your secrecy. Yet over time
(so fleeting in its claim of majesty),
you built another set of walls, and this time
all you sought was conquering.
Suble and yet so sincere, you smeared
my blood as if in offering, just before
you chose to bring me down.

Why is that you thought I somehow
needed yet another great humiliation?
But oh, e'en now, you claim to love me still.
Even though your will is bent on the
accomplishment of my destruction.
Did you think that in my heart I held
some dire kind of offering...? To a deity
that just could not ring true. Or that
my soul might yet allow my heart
to skip a beat...?

Love is the only cross I bear - and here,
I remain centered. My fall, which you
imagined to be true, rises up again
to take its toll. And love returns, without
you in my life. Oh no, you never were
the source of that. Neither was I.
And yet, at least I opened to, a love
that might have been. While all you've
come to live brings only closure.

And now, the pain of your imagining,
has grown into reality again. For in your
endless seeking, Love chose again
to stream beyond your greediness.
Never will a man or mind or will
be able to control the strength
of love. And so the altering
has been achieved, beyond the
senselessness of your beliefs...

And so, you live to merely die
within the choice of your
one-pointed diffidence...

? Michaelette ?

4/17/2002
Copyright© 2001 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home...