I see your eyes again and
still, they are
ablaze with living light. And yet this night,
I sleep alone again. Oh holy night of blessed
love, return to me again; for I have missed
your tender touch of healing, that flows in an
eternity of love divinely reaching out
to touch this very mortal flesh and reshape
this reality of life yet once again.
One love that carries on,
no matter time
or space of circumstance. One heart that
beats in sync with mine through pain and grief
and happenstance. And yet this night, I sleep
alone again, with no appeal; and not a single
word from you to tell me you'll return.
A sigh, this sigh will have no end, for we
had vowed we would amend such lack
of love together, even to and through eternity.
Empty rooms, and more - the
that lacked any coherence within time and space
and distance that you came to put between us.
We had the dream, and it was real, and yet you
chose to run away instead, claiming that reality
must wait for yet another day unspoken in your
reveries of ought to be. Your promises yet echo
in the wind, for they were named within the words
you spoke to me. A ghostly pall remains that
simply will not let me go. But you are gone,
of your own will, and this I cannot find a way
For you have chosen yet again
the pangs of all
normality - no matter pain, no matter grief, no
matter all the great emotions flooding through
the you of me, e'en still. You promised me a surety
that I had never known before. You moved into
my life as if we'd always been before, just taking
over everything I was. And I just fell into your
loving arms, believing in the living moments of
this love's surrender. You made me feel as if I
were but seventeen again - alive with love and
lasting energy that could not cease.
I ask for reasons and yet
all you have to offer now
are bland excuses that lack meaning and can
never touch upon the love we knew as true. You
speak of duty, as if fatherhood were suddenly
a sacred vow to you. And yet you let your children
use and then abuse the very energy of love that
we attained, as if the sacrifice of this, this living
love of life would still be waiting yet, around a
bend, (or is it that, e'en now, you seek another?)
or will you wait for yet another life...?
You tell me that your time
is too important to be
spent on this, this love that blossomed just between
we two. And yet you spend your time as if the many
years that we lived through had never happened.
You treat our circumstances as if life were only just
beginning to reopen, as if we were still seventeen.
But oh, my love, you foolish one, look once again
into your mirror, and see the many changes that
have come to be within the busy-ness of that life
you have chosen once again to lead. For we have
passed beyond the point of never knowing better.
The sun once rose o'er us,
but long ago, and passed
the zenith of its height, while we were busy (oh so busy)
creating alibis that we would ride from dawn to dusk;
when wearily, our bodies fell again into a bed named
all alone, no matter that another body chose to lie with us.
And yet it seems you have forgotten just how wholly
we were blessed; when love poured through our hearts
and every cell of living flesh back tthen - you act as if
we'd never spent those endless moments of those years
that have become no more than an imprisonment
within a nameless, powerful, society
that only knows indifference.
You use this duty as a shield,
and yet it too, must be
the walls that now imprison you - yet still you
choose to just refuse your heart and soul - that plead
with you so strenuously to find a way to just move on.
For every step we take upon this path of love divine,
defines and thus defies all definition, and this love
must be, else all that we have known of life's creation
dies; e'en we. There can be no us while you remain
within those preset realms that you chose in your
youth, unknowing. Because I know now that you
know the feeling of this love I speak, and this one
love can never be denied within eternity.
You have gazed deeply into
eyes that speak of
love unending. You have beheld the many mysteries
of all the femininity of which I am composed. Can
you tell me now, that any ordered hierarchy can ever
bring those feelings of pure ecstasy to you...? And if not,
then why are you alive - to become no more than
just another dying alibi; lying in the hands of someone
other than yourself? What power do they hold that
you and I have not beheld within each other...?
And yet, no matter time or
space or grief spent
in the distance of we two - yet still the only words
you have to speak to me, are of a duty that must lead
to the mustiness of empty tombs instead of wombs
that flower every spring into eternity. And still, it
seems you seek a mother rather than a lover true.
For truly have you chosen this to be the course
of your reality again - this time considered within
realms of conscious recognition. And this is what
I ever will refuse to understand - how any living
soul might reprimand itself enough to give in to
the crass demands of label or of class.
When I pledged you this forever
love, I held it
true. How could you go back to that empty life
of lies that only seeks some dying power over
other lives that seek to know just this - this love...?
How is it that you can't seem to untangle
all those preset lies that only past speaks to...? No,
I will not grant you one more understanding
moment in this love of life I know is true, for you
again have chosen to believe in powers that have
never spoken in this love of understanding hearts
and minds and bodies become one. Seek yet again,
just what the flesh you are composed of seeks to say;
and perhaps someday, you'll come to understand
and truly love again (but how often does a love so true
e'er choose to bring its blessing unto us...?)
And so for now, I sleep alone
again, as I have
slept alone so long, so long (is this all that love's
eternity can be...?) And still I see your eyes,
those eyes of electricity, alight within a night
that calls like sirens of sea - without response
from thee. And thus I close this endless tome
of dreams that never will come true - for truly,
you have not the will to walk with me
? Michaelette ?
Copyright© 2001 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home...