He fell back down the rabbit hole.
In fear, he lost his balance.
How would he ever find the will
to up and climb again?

The easy way out - that's
really all he'd ever craved;
to live within a womb -
protected -never standing
on his own at all.

Yet those few days he lived
under the sun, would come
to haunt him night and day,
no matter all the habits
he'd amassed.

For once you love, you
never can go back entirely.
The ease became a misery,
building deep inside as time
moved on.

He wore his armor, cracked
and bent, and wondered why
he never felt the safety that
he'd felt before. He sensed
a silent, open door that
beckoned him to dare to
walk right through.

And yet he could not move
in any way that made a
difference. The telephone
would taunt him, teasingly,
and he could not seem to
just forget her number.

He loved her still. It felt
as if his heart would burst
with all the love that he
denied into existence.
The longer held, the
more that it became
no more than pain.

His monetary gain became
the greatest loss of all, as
the walls of all his choices
kept on closing in on him.
Demons snarled and raged
at him within repeated dreams
of altered imagery.

Busy, he must keep on moving;
how was it that he found himself
with all those many moments
when no need presented him
with yet another move? Then
trance-like, all those living
memories of love would rise
within his mind, again and yet
again.

Focus became blurry, as the
walls turned into mist. And
once again, her image would
arise. The longing would
begin again. Each time it
did, he found it had gained
power.

He fell back down the rabbit hole,
as he wondered how he'd ever
let her go. Then one day, it
came to him. The memories
he'd tried so hard to ban - of
how it had been him, to stand
up then and choose to walk
away from her.

This time he couldn't push
them back - an agony, an
anguished scream began
within that sigh of rising tides.
He had not left the strength
to run away. No words came
to describe the way he hated
himself then.

Delirium, a fevered pitch -
thinking that his thoughts
would come again to save
the day. But his focus had
been shattered too completely.
Shoulders slumped, his misery
began to seep right through
his living, breathing pores.

Hot flash of spirit's intuition
sent him tumbling to the floor.
The doctors could find nothing
wrong, nor could they understand
the sightless stare that overcame
his attitude that day. 'Twas
then the visions haunted him
in earnest.

All that he once held familiar
seemed no more than alien.
Lost and all alone, he wandered
through a realm he never knew
as real within existence. Stunned,
he simply flowed within its stream.
As buoyantly, the dreams that
he'd denied became a tide of
greater longing than he'd ever
felt before.

He floated through the open
door, and knew himself to be
the indigo, realizing in a flash,
that real was much, much more
than any human eye could see,
or mortal intellect begin to grasp.
For its theme was all-enduringly
complete.

He could not move, and breathing
seemed unnecessarily contrite.
His will become a distant star
within another universe. Dizzily,
he drifted in the timelessness
of more than just a dream.
He fell back down the rabbit hole.
His awe was all-awakening,
just when he spied her eyes.
Liquid pools of mercury, so healing
in their chemistry - and there she
stood, arms open wide - to welcome
him back home within a sigh...

? Michaelette ?