Ever Knew

That first weekend when we didn't even sleep.
Three days of love, the feel of ecstasy.
We rose so high, we touched the sky,
The misty white of clouds become an ever lullaby.
Promises were whispered in between the many kisses.
Opening, I gave it all to you.
You took it all and then withdrew.
Back to the only ways you ever knew.

A week and more, before you found
you needed, wanted more.
Another weekend fantasy so free.
You said that you believed that we
were surely meant to be.
Hints within the roses that you brought.
Candlelight and days without a thought.
You took it all, again withdrew.
Back to the only ways you ever knew.

Each time you left, the parting became harder.
The few moments that we shared were not enough.
You'd take a breath, and act real tough,
tears filling up your eyes, but then
you just withdrew again.
Back to the only ways you ever knew.

Hints and tints of two-as-one forever.
Words the only proof of trust I knew.
Believe in love, and then in you -
it seemed so heaven-sent.
You never told me how it really happened.
That first time you went back to her to stay.
You told me that it really didn't matter.
For you would find a way to be with me.
Hanging up the phone, you'd wander
back into her bed to go to sleep.

The bonds of hate run deep.
I always thought that love was more important.
You said that you believed that too
and surely things must change.
You started then, to rearrange
the patterns of those dire relationships.
Filed for divorce and finally chose
to make a movement on your own.
And you chose me.
Oh, endless feel of harmony drawn near.

Moving in, you said you'd never leave.
Your plans were set in stone, I should believe.
Never mind that little quirk of pain within
the spin of all the loving we felt then.
I let go and lived the flowing fantasy -
never knowing I would rue the day
I ever let you in. It felt so perfect,
for a little while. But then I noticed that
your smile didn't quite reach up into your eyes
and slowly, all the light began to dim.

The strangest thing will always be
the silence that you chose.
Touching close, and yet even with me
you couldn't quite believe enough
to say the words out loud.
Then came the cloudy days when
all you did with me was just because
you, and you alone, knew you were leaving.

The strangest feelings came to me.
I felt it all around. And heard it in the sound
of all those love songs that you used to sing.
You bought me roses, one last time again.
And then we danced, but something wasn't right.
You changed the subject with a feigned delight.
Still speaking words of love into my ear.
I held your heart so dear that I just couldn't see
the noose that dangled from your soft
and velvet covered hand.

And so I planned my life with love into forever.
At last, I thought, the past was really
being left behind. I wonder now, what
happened to my mind because of you.
Believing all the promises you'd made.
Even in those days you spent with her.
The last of all the days that you and I
might ever get to spend while still together.
Just before you finally told the truth.

But even then, it happened once again.
I tell myself I should have seen it coming.
You took it all away with you,
and then withdrew for good.
Your heart still beats, but incomplete
wishing that the loving would return.
You live the patterns of your life unearned.
Gone for good - the tone, the mood.
Back to the only ways you ever knew...

? Michaelette ?


7/4/2002
Copyright© 2002 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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