Feel of Loss

I told myself that I would be all right.
Just after noticing that I was crumbled on the floor.
My body chose the fetal in position.
I watched the door, but you would not return.
The tears that came felt lonely and abused.
Oh no, you'd never use me up and throw
it all away that way - not you. But even then,
this weary heart, was floundering in pain.

And every time I tried to gain a particle
of just okay, somehow your feelings broke
right in and set me reeling off my feet again.
So long, so long - why won't you let me go?
You were the one that chose to live without me.
You have no right to dump your pain on me.
Where once a flame of love flared high,
the distance in between we two
is covered over by the shadowland
you choose to live.

I pray for wind and rain these days.
Lightning seems to know just what I need.
Those seem to be the only times
you really can't get through.
Nature's storms still heal the abuse.
The aftermath of rain is so refreshingly unstained
by any wish or will of cruelty.
Clear and fresh and cool, the wind
whispering again of loving friends.
Yet still, there is an emptiness
where once you filled me full.

I told myself that I would be all right.
And yet the flight is sullen when alone.
Still, I hear the tone of yesterday.
Even knowing that you'll never come again.
I hear angelic choirs humming,
coming in the breeze - they emulate
the feel of loss that grew within the ecstasy
that we once knew together...

? Michaelette ?

7/4/2002
Copyright© 2002 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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