Himself

He has nothing left to hold on to.
The beliefs have all been understood
and ordered into bins. The greatest sins
became a popular enactment of the oldest,
oddest instincts to survive and carry on
to something new and gratifyingly complete.
Their demise wipes out the deepest fires of life.

It was so sweet, the way that they once loved.
Fire and ice become a flowing stream of ecstasy.
But he moved back instead of forward then,
and rent the fabric of the veil that used to split
the worlds of his and hers. He thought,
with time, that he would find success through
what he did. Slowly is it sinking in, the fact
that what he sought to win could never be
controlled.

He thought himself so bold, but then he bolted
back into the sordid safety of imprisonment again.
He kept chanting - it would never, ever end.
Like a recording, all the same old thoughts
are swirling in his head. But now they
bring him pain and emptiness. His ordered
life is feeling like a mess, and so it keeps on
keeping on that way, as all he thought he'd
put together keeps on breaking all apart.

Now and then, he feels a start, as if his heart
had skipped too many beats. When was it
that the terror started creeping into him...?
He can't remember when it wasn't there.
Incapable and dear, the fear he used to
blame on them. It races through his system
now, and nothing seems to clear the dreary
from the view for him. All the many things,
so dearly bought, cannot bring joy where
there is naught but constant focus on oblivion.

Subliminal, the routes of his projection.
He thought no one would ever find it out.
All his schemes and dreams have somehow
turned into a nightmare - and he screams.
Stronger men than he had tried to steal
her ambiance. She watched them tumble
in the aftermath - one by one by one. At times,
a crowd would gather, just to join in all the fun.

And she is on the move again - the power
of destruction that she holds become akin
to all the healing she was wont to give back
in those loving times. She warned him, too,
so many times, in oh so many ways. Laughing
to himself, he never really listened
to the wisdom of her words.

Slowly is it sinking in, the fact that what he
sought to win could never be controlled.
Subliminal, the routes of his projection.
He thought no one would ever find it out.
All his schemes and dreams have somehow
turned into a nightmare scene, become reality -
and then he finally screams himself awake...

? Michaelette ?

7/17/2002
Copyright© 2002 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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