Mayhem
(of the heart and soul and mind -
as invisibly, the real steals into play)

An act of mayhem - startling.
Shock so great, the world shakes,
and nothing can remain the same
or be reclaimed again.

Love - the very best that life can be.
This is what he took away from free.
As if he took a knife and cut
the heart out of her chest -
and left her lying, bleeding on the floor.

No hope or help or tenderness for one
who lived so all alone and independently,
not after that. And just before he left,
he turned and spat into her face.
(Or at least, he might as well have,
after all was said and done.)

Yet even now, he wonders why
his many alibis can't seem to satisfy
the world he chose to go back to, in force.
Pretending that he lives in innocence -
he fools no one. Even his own child
runs away from him these days.

A child that will accept incarceration,
long before they ever choose to live
with him again. Too familiar, those surroundings
that he hasn't really seen in years and years.
Overbearing, all those tears he never dared
to try to cry. Lashing out, he still can't seem
to find a way to just forgive himself -
or any other being.

Raging, he approaches that - his idol and his god.
Backing down, he runs back home to mom -
limp tail trailing low between his legs.
For he'd never learned to turn his fear
to courage. And like a dog, he thinks
that he can't learn new tricks within
his aging life. Still pretending, as he does,
that nothing really changed at all, in that -
the one great love he'd ever come to live.

Suspended in a place where animation
used to be. Once upon a time, it seemed
so free - but nevermore. The score is ever
being calculated, by beings more insatiable
than man. Lights blinking as the game's display
reads TILT, and nothing more can be
accomplished in those staid and sorry,
same old ways of olden times (now dead
and gone).

Wishing for the feel of emptiness to enter him
just one more time again - for all he really feels
these days, is pain and disappointment - no
matter that the others say he is a great success.
He gave it up - that one and only feel of bliss
that he had ever known. But now he can't
imagine why he did.

An act of mayhem - startling.
Shock so great, the world shakes
and nothing can remain the same
or be reclaimed again. That's all
the games would ever bring to him.
But now he knows, beyond a doubt,
that he alone chose just that route
of lone reality that he now lived...

? Michaelette ?

10/12/2002
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