Never Real

I feel you wanting me again.
Even after all the angry words
used to keep the likes of you at bay.
Yet it's only when you sleep these days -
when your shields are somehow thinner
than in any moment of your daytime hours.

One part of me is glad, even as
another part just writhes in pain again
at everything you tried so hard
to blame on me back then.
I wonder, vaguely, if the moon is full.
Or if, perchance, some other man
discovered that he wants me more than you.

Why did I ever let you in...?
The damage done is more
than just unspeakable, you know.
The up above is seething down below.
And yet you'll never find deliverance
without me there. The seal was set,
by your own hand, so very long ago.

In the wake of ruling lies responsibility.
I can't help but wonder now, if somehow
when we were together, you blocked
even the feel of ecstasy - found
within the earthen bonds we made -
one unto another to forever.
For there is no other explanation
to be found in all this agony.

And now I feel you wanting me again.
Strange, just how I've come to cringe
at even just a hint of that.
For this love was never real
to you at all...

? Michaelette ?

7/3/2002
Copyright© 2002 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home . . .