Still Breeds

Icy cold, those West Coast currents.
Shock - the deepest fear of all,
attacking us within the pure gold
of those ever-shining, sweet, cerulean
moments. Just when it seemed I'd
reached you - there, within the
cusp of the reality you lived.

Sudden numb within the warmth of sun.
How could your anger ever prove
to be the only one...? Deeper down,
yet still within the only you call you -
your fear began to twist itself -
somehow inside of me.
Even as I sought yet once again,
to just be me.

Center - come to meet the East and West
and North and South yet once again.
You and I , we really never reached
that one and only center point of love.
Pleasure spent within the realms of flesh -
oh yes, but never really love at all, at core,
within the depth of heart of that you
chose again as never really real.

What exactly was the moment...? Just
when and why and how...? That you and I
came to this awful, other end...?
I loved you so - and yet there was
the deeper feel of anger grown to hatred
dwelling, undisguised in you - still yet unspent -
there, within your moods and still unspoken
attitudes. I always knew that never came from me.

And now, right now, I set my spirit free -
to ride within eternity again. For I have
come to the conclusion, that the life that
you have chosen for all those many
other reasons (minus love that thrives
in heart and soul) to just go on in that
- your chosen life that ever lay beyond recall.

And somehow, you are thinking (even still),
that all the love that we created in between
the two us (as individuals that sought
the feel of utter, only truth) - might never
last within the light of all the past left
in the depths of your misunderstanding -
in that intellect that seeks no more than
just another base financial gain - to stand
alone and so impossibly above the rest
of truly human nature.

(Ah no, don't call me by the name of bitch -
not anymore! Not now, within the stretch
of these yet golden Southern/Western shores!
I will never come to understand your need of
something more than all the love that we
once shared together.)

Eastern/Western - I could quote so many words
that you once tried to live and wrote to me.
About the ecstasy of meeting in the middle -
here within the Heartland of it all.
But now, the dreams that we once dreamed
together - have become no more that shriveled
by the feel of your obscene decrees.
For your intellect alone, in all its
power-hungry greed, has deemed that
other life of death for you. And ever tries
to dump it all on me.

Yet still, I have to write it true. You never really
knew of love at all. For yours was just a shallow call,
while mine has always reached into the depths
and heights of love divine. For just one moment,
you were mine. Why is it, even still...? After all
the time gone by - that the ecstasy we knew
brings pain to me...?

Sultry hot, those Southern currents - moving in
within the want of those autumnal Western shores -
reaching yet inside of me, for real. The Gulf Coast
fighting with those ever growing Californian spending
sprees. One - supposedly divorced from all the past
it once decreed. The other, living still, within the
great insanity the so-called modern of society,
still breeds so virulently - there within your life -
and in your heart...

? Michaelette ?

8/18/2002
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