To Love

If he allowed himself to love her, he would die.
Fantastic fear in isolation, weighing on his soul.
To love was to receive the fate of twining destinies.
And here, there was no certainty to mold into
addictive dreams of endless youth for him.

He pumped his age into her, as if nothing else could be.
Dissolving all the ties of their once fated history.
Deep within the river, all his guilt still traveled on.
While he clung to all the riches that he'd won -
at her expense - but who would ever know...?

Strange, the way the power of the world
comes tumbling down. Sad, the lack of laughter
and the frowns that still impeach the reach
of all he says and does. He used to think
the future lived for him.

Chemical, his highs of inspiration.
Sporadic, every touch of love that sped
right through his heart. Mind over matter,
so he thought, and so he'd make it be.
Even as his masochistic moods moved
in again. As if a tide within an endless sea.

He sought to cheat the growing whole
of all they might have been. Why was it
that she suffered in his stead...? Real,
her flesh revolving and evolving as experience
sent blight into her bones. Surreal, the texture
and the tone of his elite applause.

And there never came a pause to his derision.
Blaming was the only game he knew.
Playing it beyond all thought of win or loss
with her. Finality - the death of love - he thought
that he could rise above it all. He was a fool.

Shock was the expression that he wore into eternity.
They found him at his desk, another lifeless quirk
within the greater systems where he bore his blind beliefs.
Would he forgive the ones that sent him on his way?
Other worlds opening, no promise of another spring for him.

Magnetism - love moved on - he watched her from afar.
Loving still, the will of life lived on.
And still, the wish of dreams come true with her.
Waiting on the other side, at last his heart was
opened wide - to love...

? Michaelette ?

11/25/2002,
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