To Yourself

Crazy thoughts and deep desires.
Burning in eternal fires.
Reaching for the agony
of bliss that never stays
for very long.
It all went wrong.

What started out as love
became an angry game
that no one ever won.
Children born, they
suffered too - for all
the love you never knew
or dared to live out there.

Unfair, yet you allowed it
to unfold in just that way.
You promised that you'd stay,
but you were never really there.
Hopes and dreams - you had them,
once upon a time - so long ago.
Imprisoned by beliefs that died,
you clung to any living thing
to keep yourself alive.

Life lived within a web of constant fear.
While all that you held dear began
to simply disappear. Illusions spun
could not hold on to nothing there at all.
And you were gone so long,
no matter that you stayed.

Every moment lingered there,
to tempt and tease and bring the fear
into another state of utter crisis.
Nerves on fire, the pressure high.
Stumbling, you flew too high.
Now nothing seems to matter anymore.

More and more, that open door
is beckoning to you. Another step
and spirit will fly free. Another
chance to love and just to be,
the best and worst - now feel the curse
of pain and blame that you once laid
on them. For now you know - you did it
to yourself...

? Michaelette ?

9/28/2002
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