Both the Same

Oh daddy, please don't go away.
You are the rock we planned
our lives upon. But here, within
your distant attitudes, the deep
of these unending moods
won't end.

And mamma, please - just one more
touch of loving tenderness
before you leave. We'll never grow
too old to hold you dear. Why is it
that it seems the thought of death
is drawing near, within the very heart
of life, these days...?

'Oh no, my little one, do not be frightened.
The shadows in the night can't hurt you now.
The ghosts and all the goblins
have been banned from this,
our loving sacrament.'

I know you're gone, and yet -
I still can hear you whispering -
so clearly to me on eternal winds.
The gist of all your being seems
so lost to me right now. Yet still,
the best of all your breaths
lives on in me somehow.

Demon-spawn - so gentled
by the angels gathered round
the utter miracle of birth to life itself.
You too, must feel the misery of loss.
Oh papa, gather mamma back
into your heart again. For all the times
that you and she were friends.

And then, perhaps, I'll finally find
a way to mend the emptiness
that dwells within my soul.
Too long, too hard.
My God, the pain -
of just one mortal wakening.
I tried so hard to be invisible.
And mostly, that is all you ever saw
in me.

Yet now, when age impresses itself
even into me - I cannot find the sense
in those decrees. In times of long ago,
when youth was still my stepping stone,
you granted me a touch of reverence.
Just here and there, too spare
to matter much. But just one touch
of real respect can bring the loneliness
to majesty.

Withdrawn, the gain is withering
in more than just my heart.
As the feel of emptiness
that you once treasured -
pulls us back to places
that can never be redeemed.
The distance is too great,
and your insistence in my mind
too atrophied.

Distantly, I feel you drawing near -
erasing every fear for just a moment
'mid the vastness of eternity.
Another end to face and then
to find another new beginning waiting.
Accept the loss to find the gain.
The opposites are growing tame.
I love you both the same,
within my heart...

? Michaelette ?

6/12/2003
Copyright© 2003 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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