By Their Own Choice

Secrets unfolding. The dam is not holding.
How will they ever face the outside world?
Emotions rushing, crushing breath.
A rising wish to face their death.
Surely that is easier than this.

They never noticed. Age was ever out of focus.
Wisdom was a gift they'd never gained.
Their observations were too tame to find
the real in all the good they sought.
Their loving never had been of the heart,
with few exceptions - that lasted for no more
than just an instant in their lives.

Instead they sought the ease of just abiding.
Coloring the days with inner mists.
Fantasy that never touched the depth
of their imagining. For there was always
something missing there, within their lone
and lonely take on life.

Emotions came. They sucked them in.
But only those thought good. Ransoming
the rest in lieu of food. Their spirits wept
around the clock. They were too high
to notice. Living on Pain killers that were
legally prescribed.  Their one real goal,
to feel the pain no more.

A score of years, and endless moments,
living within them. Wondering what
friend should really mean. Screaming
in the silent spaces. Grasping any feel
of grace and love's great inspiration
for themselves - again alone, and so
divided from the rest.

Holding that they were above the norm.
Hiding secretly within the storms
their lies created. Projecting blame
and shame unto the greater crowd out there.
Perchance, an other might yet come to share
and thus obliterate the loneliness they lived.

Worrying, throughout the nights, of all the love
they'd put to flight. Wondering just when their games
would come back to the haunting feel
of their responsibility - for all the pain they
had made real - instead of love.

Secrets unfolding. The dam is not holding.
How will they ever face the outside world?
Emotions rushing, crushing breath.
A rising wish to face their death.
Altering the lies to fit the scheme.
But after all was said and done, the secrets
were obscene. While in the course of life
and death, their soul was ne'er redeemed -
by their own choice...

? Michaelette ?

10/24/2003
Copyright© 2003 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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