For So Long

For so long, I have thought myself
to be so independent. As time goes on,
the rivers of all movement pass me by.
The groupies gathered power to themselves.
Labeled an anomaly, I still insisted that
I be myself.

Discarded by one group, and then another.
Too many times, I felt within myself
their smothering. As if, without them,
I could never be. The crux of every matter
forced to bear upon my being. The shattering
become familiar turf, but never welcome here
or needed in my heart.

A twist of fate, the beveling was started.
My heart could not forsake the love it knew.
Even as the doctors took their tests
and found it failing somehow, here
within my very sense of flesh
and living soul. Reaching out again
to feel the whole. Undivided grace
of such a great deliverance.

One by one, the fences rotted out.
Barbed wire shriveled by the fire
burning deep inside their twisted minds.
It was a sign that they refused to honor -
amid the grief their fathers left to them.
Try with all their might, and yet they
found they couldn't conquer all the sin
their fathers forced into them then.

Battling the great extremes that ever
seemed to grow in them. But there,
the loss that kept them quivering inside.
Another dent within the shield of their
merely manmade pride. It wasn't real.
Yet they could never quite give in
to such awareness. For anciently,
the stakes of pride were gathering
within them.

Focusing upon a "mother complex."
Psychiatry was ever led by all the feelings
that such men most dread. While every
cell of flesh that they deemed best was
offered to that father figure. While all
that might be best in them was driven
deeply into shadows' realm. They had
been taught to just believe it wasn't real.

That stock of great emotions that their souls
kept bringing back into the motions of their lives.
Now their belief of their control had all been shattered.
While deep within the night, they kept on dreaming
of the love that always mattered. Waking was a jolt
of some electrical alarm. They felt the harm,
but still they traveled on a path that brought
the greatest moment's ease for them.

Hatred spawned by feelings of a constancy
of soul's unease - they chose again to battle
for the course of their unease. Too often,
and too brutal, after all. No matter any
ivory tower's worth, it never failed to fall
on them. Their intellects could not protect
them from their given pain. Nor would
the springtime rain e'er speak their names.
For this, their Mother Earth would not
conceive amid their ever-growing ignorance.

Ignominious, the past and future
dwelt within the sickness of their cells.
And somehow there, in wealth of breed,
they found they could no longer breathe
themselves into another round of greed.
For there were too many other seeds
in need of all their nurturing endurance.

Once upon a time, two lovers danced
within a field of wild flowers. Creation
sought within each gentle touch. Mother
Nature harmonizing yet another song
of loving true. Granting all the grace
of life's endurance. As long as loving
flows showed evidence of their intent
to ever keep it flowing on and on.

Here and now, unfeeling bands
of scientific minds have somehow
lost the ambiance of love that's real.
While preaching that the others must
not feel. Chemical reactions of
prescriptions drugs make all the world
seem unreal.

For so long, I had thought myself
to be so independent. As time rolled on,
the rivers of all movement passed me by.
The groupies gathered power to themselves.
Labeled an anomaly, I still insisted that
I be myself. But now I find, I know not
who I am. As every river, once thought
tamed, rebels within my being
yet again...

? Michaelette ?

5/6/2004
Copyright© 2004 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home . . .