Going Insane

It started with small mental inclinations.
Moods of indignation, great ennui.
Tapping deeply into something greater.
Stretching all the limits to extremes.
Bought but never paid for. That was she.
Encroached upon and cheated by
those powers other than herself.
Some called them higher powers,
though they sprang from something
deeper than the oceanic tides.

She tried to forget her sexuality.
She'd done it before. For years at a time.
But this time it seemed for good.
And her body reacted as time went on.
Attempting to show her that she shouldn't
try to live without it all. Ah, but she was
stubborn after all. The shame involved
in letting that one man break down her soul.
That he had captured her before he fled the flow
of loving days and nights and happy silence.
It had all become self-blame by then, you see.

Sitting here or lying there, the two of them were one.
Why was it that she'd ever let him enter in at all...?
Once upon a time when reason rhymed.
Just before he flew away for good - and bad -
leaving her with all the suffering.
So suddenly. And then the weighted barbs
began finagling themselves inside her flesh.
As if each seed implanted were another
sad and sorry round of anger on the run.
She sighed, too serious to make it light.
Where once her laughter healed with its light.

Unraveling. The dreams, the schemes, the patterns
of a once bright tapestry. Just when his colors
made it too extreme. It was the red, always
suspicious after all. Turned muddy by the thrall
he'd tried to hold her deep within. Withdrawing
as his fall bled in her heart. The doctors
weren't brave enough to specify the cause.
The nurses thrived upon the little energy
that she had left. When she, who'd never
cursed a living soul, arose within the power
now exposed. No matter all the pain,
she'd seen it through unto the end - when
the beginning finally found her once again...

? Michaelette ?

12/21/2003
Copyright© 2003 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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