Sexual Insanity

He saw her as an alien.
As time went on, the image
grew so real - that all that he would
say and do was adding multiples
to its dimensions in his mind.

Facets flying free within each ray
of light entangled in mind's movements.
What he called his relaxation,
he would never share with her.
That craziness...? It must be hers!
For he was flying high.

Coming down, the sadness rose within him.
For still, there was a feeling,
that he'd missed the greater meaning
of it all.  Where now, the love,
he used to feel as true...?

If not inside of him or her, then
where or what or how had it
abandoned his own heart...?
There within his mind, where
all his mental calibrations rode
rough shod. He'd proved himself
a man among the other men
that ruled his sorry world.

Paper shaped decrees received.
They hung upon the walls
of might have been. And oh,
he'd fooled them all, as secretly
he raked the money in. While
hidden deep inside himself,
the little child cried.

He never really knew the reason why.
For deeply hidden, there were wells
that he had never had the nerve
to look at in the light of day or night
He named them just an emptiness instead,
and then went on his highbrow way -
just moving on, he said. When all he
ever really did was run away.

Away from all the heartache
he had caused. Away from all
the truth of awful lies he told himself.
Ah, but there! Mere shadow in the corner
of the bar. Another creature of
the feminine. For when his highs
reached low again, he always found
another image waiting in the wings.

While something lived beneath
the mind he knew - that every
now and then broke through.
A feel of love. Of flesh on flesh!
No more to intermesh within
the cold, cruel hardness he'd become.

Release, and then the switch.
Right back into the emptiness
he cherished. Even as the sorrow
stole its way into his heart and soul -
yet one more time again. And then
that one great thought that he called closure:
"It must all be the fault of her insanity."
As throwing up his hands, he ran away...

? Michaelette ?

7/9/2003
Copyright© 2003 Michaelette L. Romano
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