Where Grief Begins

A constant rambling of whispers
heard within the inner ear - alone.
Words spoken as her thoughts flew out
in every which direction. They were
coddled in the arms of family.
A field of affection that had
never learned to grieve.

His parents thought to keep
the dark side of reality at bay.
Yet still it played within their circle,
never leaving long enough to matter.
Chattering the meaningless,
unlikely to survive one endless fall.

It seemed that all they wanted was to
have it all within the grasp of their control.
Yet still, the sorrow crept back into them.
The threads of hope were growing thin.
The loving didn't feel right anymore.

They never dared to say to her
just how she made them feel.
They were supposed to be her family.
And so they tempered all the
arguments that seemed to ring too real.

Background noise without a base.
Tittering the days away.
Gossip when the Jones' went away.
The illness of a neighbor's child.
The world still going wild.
Such a constant rambling,
it drove them all insane.
No matter how they memorized
the best response to make.

The tension at their gatherings
had never been set free.
The misery had played
its part too well. When was it
that their world had turned into
this charcoal sketch of living hell...?
They couldn't quite remember.

Their memories were faulty -
for it seemed that it had always been
that way. Somewhere an errant memory
still held them to a moment
that was only make-believe.
Forgetting that in once-upon-a-feeling-
out-of-time, she really used to
laugh and play with them.

Somewhere along the line,
it all had changed.
And so had she.
Compromised by all the love
they never shared in a return, with her.
She'd been mesmerized into a mood
that only spoke of others' great despair.
She walked the halls at night, instead
of sleeping. Worrying, while all of them
lay dreaming - of a better place to be,
than there, with her.

It happened in an instant of eternity.
Quite suddenly, the the dark night
of their souls had entered in.
Ferocious quaking, then the light.
She found her heaven burning bright,
within those layers of demise.
Yet somehow still, the chattering
went on within their minds.
Calling to her to return again.

Collapsed, the family system
and the wealth of lies they used to
tell themselves - that somehow,
they were better than the love that
she had lived for them.
Suddenly, her memory
was taken off the shelf.

Just then, within the ember of love's dawn,
all the love that they had missed while
focusing upon a shriveled angel,
came to life and living once again.
Just there, within their hearts,
where grief begins.

(Oh Mother Love, come home
to us again...)

? Michaelette ?

5/25/2003
Copyright© 2003 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home . . .