No Matter

I will never feel free again.
I can't stand the thought of that.
Living this way with no hope
of a change for the better.

Believing it would all work out somehow.
Not knowing when I took the final fall.
It simply happened.
No matter how I fought to change it all.

Giving in when all my dreams were shattered.
Starting out again and then again.
And then again, until it seemed ad infinitum.
Then finally giving out when crouched
under the pressure kept inside.

And all the condemnation
gathered from the world wide.
But worst of all, from those I used to love.
Eyes open wide through feigned catastrophe.
It felt like it must be the last, yet still this
pain-filled life goes on and on.

Every time the doorbell rings, I cringe.
Today was the day I should never
have answered its call.
The walls are closing in on me again.
In a constant feel of almost suffocation.
But no matter how I wish,
I'm still not dead...

? Michaelette ?

3/27/2005
Copyright© 2005 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home . . .