Wouldn't Look

You wouldn't look at me.
Remembering the memories.
Realizing why you couldn't
really look at me that day.
You'd come to tell the lie of lies.
Tears were streaming from your eyes.
You wouldn't tell me why.
You covered it all up by getting high.
The truth that made you hate yourself.
The tirade that would break the spell
of love that you and I had just been living.
I couldn't think with you so close to me.
And so I didn't notice then, those little clues
that should have told it all in technicolor.
The way you claimed you just wanted
to leave your luggage in the car.
Just until tomorrow, so you said.
When you weren't quite so tired
and you didn't feel so strained.
Or so it seemed while I still trusted you.
The cold was holding back the rain.
I never noticed while you held me so.
I never could imagine you would sell
out on our love in such a way.
But that's exactly what you did.
For years I hid myself away.
Pretending that you would return again.
Some day. Creating yet another set
of bright and shiny days of love for us.
While ever so slowly, the puzzle came clear.
One small piece at a time.
All those years were a blur.
Feeling all the depth of your betrayal.
Over and over again.
As yet another little piece slid in to make
the picture more enticing in a sick
and subtle way. Each piece another knife.
Entering my heart in utter pain so shiny bright
that I went blind. All the beauty of this world,
this life, began to live in shadow lands surrounding
all the ways I used to be before you ever came along.
Back before - remembering - the strength I'd worked
so hard to get that came around no more.
For you had drained the very meaning from my soul.
I should have known it.
Way back when - when so suddenly,
you wouldn't look at me...

? Michaelette ?

6/14/2005
Copyright© 2005 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
Take me home . . .