Base of Fear

And I wonder, are you using me…?
for as long as it takes for you to break free
from patterns that encompassed you
but then, when the greatest healing is through

your interest will wane
your attitude change
and when at last you're free
will you start to blame it all on me…?

That has been the pattern of my life, you see
and I'm still not sure I've broken free
yet this much I do know
that if love somehow just doesn't grow

from this closeness, this great sharing now
it will be the end for me somehow
of every dream I've ever dreamed
for I cannot take another scheme

that leaves me in the scapegoat's role
and if I need to be alone to be whole
there will be no meaning left to find
nor any more to leave behind

for my life will be over this time
no excuses left for this bent of mind
that sees only good until the pain
pours through me like a summer's rain

penetrating everywhere
without a thought or care
of who I am
and that's when I no longer can

believe in love that lasts
for life will be made of only past
hopelessness and base survival
and this time I will surely fall

deeper than I've ever been
while in truth, I've never learned to swim
and the end will be in sight
no glimmering, no flash of light

will save me from the deep dark form
of this utter lack that's born
of love's respite
as I die within the night
of this despair

? Michaelette ?

Copyright© 1999 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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