Who I amů

I am ever-changing, so it is quite involved to write of who I am, although there are some facts which may be of interest to my readers.

I am a creative artist.  I am a living human system of being.  I am also the only parent that my son and daughter have known for the greater part of their lives.  I raised them on my own, and guided them and learned and continue to learn so much from them; even now that they are grown, and the role of mother and father that necessarily evolved into one parent has fulfilled itself.  For they live on their own now, needing only the loving support of a friend who truly cares about them.  I find that now those poses of identity that served me so well for so many years are no longer necessary.  So I am ever finding myself anew these days.  One step at a time - querilous steps at times, for now I seem to walk alone much of the time.  I have learned to cherish my solitude, yet still find a need to walk hand in hand with another sometimes.  It is necessary, it is real, it helps to keep me grounded.

I am introverted of nature, yet more and more my voice insists on being heard, so more and more I am also becoming extroverted.  I am feminine, the more so because I have explored the masculinity within and without me, and come to see the sameness within the diversity of opposites, the simplicity of multiplicity as the many varied parts seem to synthesise  these days to just become more and more a whole, ever seeking and therefore never really needing a sense of completion.

I have suffered much, and loved much, and found much joy because I allow myself to feel - everything.  No matter that the world says I must be cool and calm and collected - this is not life.  Instead I have found that life is a moving, changing, emotive evolution of energy.  An energy that needs to flow, one unto another and another.  A tapestry of never-ending waves and particles in motion, that form intricate webs of patterns, like sunlight shining through a morning mist.  And this becoming is the only reality I wish to be aware of now.

I think of times when all I knew seemed to be disintegrating, and how, just when I knew I couldn't bear another moment of pure loneliness or pain, a friend, sometimes in the form of one I'd never seen before, would come and offer me their hand.  And lift me up just one more time, and help me take another step towards this only home of heart.  And I am ever so grateful to everyone for being.  Then again I feel this blessing that only love can bring, and in the morning hear the birds just singing once again.  As gray skies turn to golden blue, and dawn tints the horizon with a holy shade, rose colored hue, of love so infinite, I simply smile.  And know that life is good, and all is well, so long as love, so simple and so free, can come to be.

I am also the child inside me, the angel and the devil who co-create all the ever-imagined possibilities of being, and I strive to bring joy and laughter to what otherwise might be sad or lonely places to exist.  I am the experience of life itself as I allow all of it to unfold within me, without the restraints of staid and sick propriety.  For it is only when I truly am myself, loving from deep within my heart and allowing that love to be, that I really live.

I am a lover of nature and of all that is alive on this earth and in this universe, and I discover again and again that what is most alive is love.  Change can be scary, this I know, but to overcome the fear of change itself is the crux of courage.  Discover this, and we discover our own soul.  Then within these uncharted realms of pure being, within all that is unknown, still, we must open our hearts to love.  For only in this opening of heart can we turn it all into the courage to live and be the love of all creation.  And this, my friends, is to truly feel alive.  While to understand that the miscellaneous feelings that come of  love's separation from ourselves, are no more than bits and pieces of this life that flows through us - and these isolated entities  seek no more, no less than our guidance and our knowledge and our capacity to love - to love every bit and every piece back into the whole - this time aware of itself.  While within this process, somehow we come to know our own soul too, in all its multi-faceted glory.  To allow soul to be, in all awareness, is the meaning and the purpose of all life.

Then too, I am a spirit walker and a weaver of light.  Now this might be too much to explain in a biography, so let me say just this, spirit is another facet of who we are constantly becoming.  And I have chosen yet again.  I will no longer hide this light of soul under a bushel to make others feel more comfortable in their neurotic lifestyles.  So I speak the words that must be spoken now.  I cannot do otherwise, for my voice expresses all the truth of who I am.  And my truth is my purpose, my fate, and my goal.  How could anyone ask for more than this?

Beyond all doubt, if we know nothing else, we must all know this, in depth and breadth and width of form - that we are, that we must be,  each and every one of us - for we are meant to be.  Seek and you shall find.  For it is in this very seeking for the truth of being that eternity becomes aware of itself.  Right here, within these multi-varied forms of its creation.

So no matter who you are, no matter which branch of the path that you have come to walk upon, just keep on walking - one foot and then the other - and move, just keep on moving, in the stillness and the strength of your own loving heart.  So my dear reader, if I might dare to ask this of you - please search within your memory and within your creativity, to find the feel of love, complete yet ever being born in each and every one of us and return it through these hearts' eternal rhythms, in natural, cyclic movments, to life itself.  Alone and undivided, together in our separateness - yet still, we love .

And time moves on, at is its wont and need these days, somehow.  Yet truly, it is just an instrument of measurement, and means so little to us now.  Meant only to make meeting more precise.  So little meaning there, that we seek out, more and more, these tender moments of timeless love and hold them in our heart as more precious than everything and anything that so many others call success.  For we have learned of pain and suffering; and felt the need to simply let it go.  Yet still these feelings come unasked to us.  For in this realm of living love, it all must find a center-point; where you and I can simply 'be' - together once again...
 

? Michaelette?
 




2/26/2002
Copyright© 2001 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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