Inside

The explosions
they have come and gone
They say the war is over
yet all around the world
the wounded cried

for something precious
something dear
was lost within
those warring years:
the feel of loving innocence

yet how can love begin to grow?
within a soul
that has lived through
all the darkness
of their culture's
painful, pre-determined attitudes

while rising now inside
are feelings that they can't abide
and yet they can no longer hide
from who they are
for essentially
what can we be
but what we feel?

Lost and lonely
caught between the old beliefs
taught throughout our childhood
when all we ever tried
to be was good

and good, exemplified
would mean that we must hide
from one full half of what is real
yet still
their voices play within our minds
saying that we must be good
and true and kind
and nothing else

and so we strive
as feelings build inside
to be just what society
keeps saying we must be
even as we live and learn
that all they think they earned
was really stolen
from the blind of innocence

and too, they never show us how
to balance all their blind beliefs
or what to do with all the grief
their rules bring to creation

while here inside
a wound that has become the norm
festers as we try to live
the way they say will matter

We live and move and breathe
rarely finding true relief
from the constant battling
that separates the mind
from heart and soul

until we finally learn to feel
just feel what's there and nothing more
and feeling then reveals
the only truth that we can live
rising somehow from the center
beyond our will or our intent

First, perhaps, we feel the guilt
that ever we became
a part of all their endless
games of win and lose
for we have failed to abuse
the hierarchy of all abusers

and then, perhaps the shame
that we obeyed the many rules
when something deep inside would say
we should have turned and walked away

yet walk to where . . . ?
for we must live and breathe
within societies
that just don't seem to care

and pain resides
so deep inside
we cannot find a place
or feel the grace
of beauty calling

and if and when we dare to bare
these feelings to another
what are the chances
they will understand?

or will they only issue
just another bland command
to cool our jets and settle in
when galaxies collide
instead of spin with life inside
and hearts in silence weep
the many tears we try to hide

Shall we pop another pill then?
or take another drink?
until we seem to be in sync
and thus within the norm

and what and why and where
are we supposed to turn
when these systems of society
have failed to bring
their promises of our fulfillment?

yet now we're at a point
of yet another new beginning
built upon the generations
of all that came before

and we need to end the strife
if ever life will free itself to be
internally, eternally
for here is where it all begins

and so we need to speak the truth
of all emotion
by refusing blind devotion
to the norm

and to come to realize
it must start here
deep inside our hearts
if ever love will open out again
to take its place within reality . . .

?Michaelette?

5/25/2000
Copyright© 2000 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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