Inside Himself

How quickly and completely
he pulls back to himself
each time she dares approach
(Is it loving
that he really fears so much?)

and the walls again arise
built of all the alibis
that fear and anger
tend to aggrandize
(those walls that keep her out
yet too, must serve to keep him in)

for strategies are playing
and he cannot stop himself from thinking
that even love would bring him only pain
(yet was it ever love, true love
that caused his endless pain?)

but the wounds that he had suffered
through this endless life of strategies
began to now reveal
the most amazing memories
(momentary moments
of the purest ecstasy)

and she was there
come to him within a dream
that intellect alone could not conceive
as his own soul reached out to touch
and open once again his heart
(oh sweet release of all the pain
that never was intended)

Yet would he, could he?
bring these dreams into reality
as his mind, forever scheming
set him to another task
(swift recession of the day
when always he would keep
his soul at bay)

while even in the day now
these dreams would rise and fade
as he became another faceless
member of the crowd
(Did they know
these endless crowds
of dreams that simply dreamt
themselves awake?)

and the habits and the patterns
that he'd built his life upon
began somehow to just unravel
as he reached these realms
of deep, unerring shadow-light
that night will bring to life within the day
(Insanity, how could this be?
for he thought himself
the lone creator of his destiny)

when beauty rose
to comfort and to guide
his mind unto the other side
where his imagination lay in wait
hoping for no more
than just a moment when its song
might fill his world with joy
(Joy - such pure delight
that suffers through each day
of this societal dependency)

just then he wakes again
and pulls himself back in
to that place inside himself
where even angels dare not enter
and seals his heart and soul away
to just survive another day
of pain . . .

?Michaelette?

6/17/2000
Copyright© 2000 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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