Instead of You

It was all about you
How clearly that stands out
when seen from far ahead
Not about us
or about love
or of a future together
for no matter the dreams
you always brought it back to you
as if I were not even part of the equation

until you reached a point
beyond a level of your comfort zone
and then without a thought
you somehow tried to make it seem
that your discomfort stemmed from me

even when the source of your dis-ease
lay within the bounds of who you are
and all the many roles
you think you play so well

and every time I try and reach
a point of equilibrium within myself
one-pointedly, you did your best
to make me feel
more ill at ease than you

and yet you say you loved and love
even now
when all we had is blown apart
by the power of those deep emotions
arising from the base of all you are
coming from a place I've never been
too blind to see that even then

what I gave was from my heart
even what I spoke in anger
was never uncontrolled or misconceived
each instinct made to flow right through
these patterns that were spun of you
right through the whole of me
no matter the intensity of pain conceived

from the basics shared with all humanity
through the heart, the core of me
and higher still to mind
flowing through the apex of it all
as spirit called and calls
and I strive to pick its whispered words
out from all the chaos that abounds

Haunting, these old memories
of the days of our disharmony
yet looking back
even now, I cannot see
a reason that you now would be
intent on blaming me for what went wrong

when all along this song
that plays forever in my heart
threaded a sweet melody of love
reaching out for you
while you refused to hear
or to respond in kind or quality

Now, instead
so much of what you say and do
is directed just to make me feel
a fool
instead of you . . .

?Michaelette?

2/11/2000
Copyright© 2000 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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