Lack of Trust

How disappointing to find
that you really never wanted
to know who I am at all

and even if you never found a way
to trust and then to care
in the course of our affair
I did
and it was so much more
than universal love could ever be

Yet still you came
and sought to tame and thus contain
my very soul
speaking words of love and light
seducing with a succulent desire
seeking touch of flesh so long denied
and release of feelings unrelieved
o'er spans of time's disharmony

Approach of seeming innocence
that merely titillated senses
yet never did love touch your heart
as it did mine
for you would not allow it to

You entered me
as I opened so entirely to you
but now you say it never mattered
and I wonder what illusions then were spun
to convince me so entirely you cared

while I am but an open book
I do not seek to hide behind this flesh
for within and without
are inextricably bound to each other
as faith and trust and love must be as one

Life flows through us
we do not live it or create it
so too, with love
yet love is just the thing
that you keep from flowing free
from heart to heart

Instead you guard your heart
as a dragon guards its horde
of precious jewels and rarity of ore
and try to keep this love within
the orbit of your small world's spin

while I thought and I hoped
and I dared to dream
that our love might finally redeem
the fantasy that youth and age
are somehow separate

to find what really separates us all
is lack of trust
while I suspect the deeper cause to be
a lack of love and faith
lying first and foremost there within
a marriage that will never end
for divorce will not redeem your heart
nor brighten all your worn-out dreams
until you see the past as passed
and simply let it go

?Michaelette?

2/15/2000
Copyright© 2000 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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