Mountain Man

an introvert who never before
came out of his shell

when first he tries
all he can see
are the parts of himself
he projects out onto the world

and no matter his intelligence
he just canít seem to understand
why those parts of himself
keep coming back to him

the story of a man
is the story of a boy
raised in foreign cultures
so that never would he feel at home
and never would he allow himself to see
what a burden his dreams became
to those who loved him

he waits
and the truth finally finds him
hits home in the deepest of ways

and illusions come unraveled
only short strands
of wispy visions remain
as the pattern is unwoven

he sits in silent sorrow
enveloped in loneliness
not even the great beauty
of the mountains that surround him
can comfort him now

for hope is gone
and dreams lay dying at his feet

his legs become leaden
no sweet release in action
to be found this day
in his dark, depressive mood

he sees now
the futility and meaninglessness
of the life he has created
as his soul at long last
descends into the heart of him

and all the feelings
so long kept in containment
cry out to be felt and known

to struggle now is useless
his strength is sapped
his focus shattered

while memories rush in to fill
the void of mind undone

the fortress that once sustained him
becomes his prison deep
and shadows play
with candleís dwindling flame

as he returns to himself
and his once orderly universe
tilts as chaos enters

the equations of his life
are no longer valid
a new paradigm enters
and all extremes are juxtaposed

the pressure is too much
he must escape
he drags himself outside
hoping to find natureís comfort

his leaden feet begin to trudge
down forest trail now clothed in mist
and fear replaces courage once employed
as everything familiar changes form

he does not even notice the cold
as icy winds blow down from snowy peaks
for the numbness of shock encloses him

and he wonders
if he never returns to tell his tale
who will really miss him?
and so he walks in timeless misery
and is walking still
when the sun slips over the western peaks

and twilight
suddenly becomes all there is
as the veil between the worlds is torn

demonic voices chant his doom
in unison
as utter darkness descends

then suddenly he sees so clearly, this:
the image of the shades of his own death
returning

and in fear he lashes out
seeking to hurt others
with the pain he holds inside
but the pain and the fear that is his
just return to him
in endless cycles

? Michaelette ?

Copyright© 1998 Michaelette L. Romano
All Rights Reserved
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